oh... shitty mood again... wells kinda used to it... comes and goes... is it really that hard to enforce a decision ? wells i made one but i just cant stick with it... always contridicting myself... the feeling of mix emtions... i thought that just adapting to the new environment.. the changes.... yea... it lasted for a good 2 days... and then i'm back where i started... why am i not surprised... been through this... capable of dealing this this agony.... but yet again emotions cant be controlled.... sigh...  i tried my best to put it under my authority... i think i'm doing a really bad job.. maybe i just cant face her anymore? it's really hard on me... selfish...am i? so afraid... what happen to the optimistic thought danny? sigh... would this ever end? wells please ... i'm not asking for pity... just want to say whats on my mind... i guess i'm always lending a hand to those who need... but wheres the hand i need like a time like this? a hand which would lift me up from this dark gloomy "well?" wells i guess the best thing you could do for someone is helping them and not wanting anything in return... yea.. sometimes i do feel stupid sitting here and complainning... rather than do something about it... but then again what is there to do? wells i'm trying my best to ... be friends... i guess.... she wanted it that way... cant object to that... when something happened... cant pretend... convincing~~  i feel pathetic saying the same things over and over... just cant help it... i'm sorry if it's bugging you  really cold outside.. hmmm gonna be exetremely cold at night... make sure you have an extra layer of blanket tonight... or you might catch a cold... ok i see you...