Today was quite an experience. i placed my floppy containning the virus called the Win32:parite in the school's system. I right clicked on it and the virus scan picked it up. The floppy was making some weird sound, which put me and my friend in fear. I quickily ejected the floppy and we ran. LoL After school i went to Grand. I played like 5 games with Darren and won all the games. He's not so bad; i couldhelp him improve his skills. Well, i gave him some pointers and this guy said "oh teach me some strategy." weirdo... Oh Alan from my high school was there with his girl. He called me "see fu" when i kicked his ass. WoW... I didnt know i have so many students in handball, ones i dont even know about. I thought i only have one, and it's Prima. I saw her today after talking to vincent about her. LoL i had a feeling i'll see her when i was walking to Grand. I didnt say hi because her image was blurry; i didnt want to look like a fool if it turned out it wasnt her. I left around 7 and came home. I was painfully hungary, luckily there was food. HeHe. I might work out tomorrow in Baurch College Gym, if my friends decides to go. I hope my I.D is still valid.

New song.... No Entry

Two strange things happened today, both involving my my mid-terms. When i got back my mid-term from JCL, i noticed that i only have 1 wrong. Lol. The ones i guessed on were corrected except the one about the SPACE. I circled the corrected answer (sectors) but i scratched it out and put block. Johnny sitting next to me did the same shit, but she didnt cheat, it was a Coincidence. I knew i got that question incorrect, but i didnt think i would get the others ones all right. Grandma is so proud of me. She said she's full, she probrably won a softball game, and the coach rewarded them with spanish food. LOL Or they lost, and the coach fed them for trying. LOL Anyways, The second bizarre thing that happen today was my mid-term for English. I anticipated to get a D or a C - at most a C, but it was ironic that i got a B- on the first part and a B+ on the second part. My friend, johnny, wansnt so fluky, had both C on his paper and he's a better writer. Oh, i'm so blissful today, i'm rewarding myself with a bud. OK my sister is home.. talk to you later.

Today, when I woke up I was busy fixing my computer. It said I have a virus called Win32: parite. I never heard of such a thing. I went online to search for a way to fix it and the results were:

Brief Description 

Parite.B is a polymorphic virus that creates a dropper type file in the affected computer and infects files with EXE (executable) and SCR (screensaver) extensions.

Parite.B spreads through the usual means used by viruses, (CD-ROMS, e-mail, Internet downloads, etc.). Furthermore, it also spreads across networks. When it has infected a computer in a network, it enumerates all the shared network drives in order to copy itself to them.

LOL… I just found out how to get ride of it. Wells, I turned to use the system restore, but it froze. When I tried to run windows again, it fucked up. Everyone should have system restore on, so you can restore you computer back to the selected day. That’s shit is mad cool, but never tried it. If you need help, I’m here! Anyways, I formatted my computer. LoL! I restored my entire computer back to its normal state in 3 hours. The stupid Norton VirusScan 2004 didn’t work. The message “virus Win32 :parite was detected. Unable to delete.” If I paid for that program, I would be so fucking piss. Oh, I went to school early to play handball at Jay Street. There was this black asshole who thought he was all day. I had my gloves on for the first 10 points, so he thought I sucked. Those baseball gloves suck; I can’t any power from them. Wells, I took them off and started kicking ass. LoL. After that asshole lost, he was talking even more shit. I had a lot of audience today, and they all said “Damn, look at that roller.” They were all shocked when I did that lucky pick-up roller. HeHe. Oh, the stupid mid-term was so hard and gay. We had to summarize the whole chapter 4 which we never read or went over. After that we had to answer 16 questions attached to chapter 4. I’ve never seen a more bullshit mid-term then that. I hope I didn’t well, because I’m expecting an A. Wells, no expectation no worries. I’m getting tired and dizzy, I just had a Bud. Yeah, I know it’s not good for me. PRIMA called me today. I was so happy, but she wasn’t because I didn’t know who she was. I lost my cell, remembered? I’m going to take a nap then study for a while. I’ll see you all during the Spring Recess. Bye~~!!

I wrote an essay early in the morning. It's was an essay about Hamlet's problem. It'll be easier if the essay assignment was about my problems. LOL. After, i went to Grand to play a few games. i cant believe the park was empty, especially around noon. Where had everyone gone? I practiced myself for a good 20 mins, then my friend arrived. I didnt realized how badly i suck before i played again him. Wells, i blame the new leather gloves. Those gloves arent made for handball, they dont bounce off the glove pretty well. i also feel my shots are weaker with the gloves on, or maybe i suck in general. It doesnt matter anymore. When i got to my CS202 class, he had just started taking the attendence. Boy, i was luck. The midterm day went posted on the board, Wednesday. He didnt explain what is going to be on the test, he said bring your book. Oh wells, i think i'm going to do pretty good on that test. Speaking of test, i have TWO midterms tomorrow. SIGH. I'll tell you guys how i did on it. Also, HW#8 was on the board. HeHe. Once again, i finished the HW before the end of the class. He showed us our grades; i think i'm a "perfect student" as he calls it and that doesnt include the 2 extra credit. I guess i'm doing pretty well all of my classes except english. I'm not doing extremely bad, i do try. OK. Lets step away from school for a while, lets talk about SPRING Break. Where you guys going to do? Any plans? Organize some plans so i can decide whether to join or not. HeHe. I'll probrably be working and playing handball throughout the break. Though, i think i was invited to go to Canada with Johnny and the Fake. I dont know if that's going to be arranged. LOL. i cant believe my friend (wing) actually took out a dictionary to look up the word "nether." Johnny said "when you see betty, we'll fiddling with your nether parts"

Good Morning! Yesterday, as i was walking home, i was inspire to whip up a poem. The images in the poem crossed my mind. This poem fits right into my xanga, with all the snow and stuff. Once again, snow makes me happy. I uploaded a new song, so enjoy.

Spring is here, i thought

White skies,

Hailing flakes,

Moisted air,

Leafless tress,

Empty parks,

Down jackets,

I thought, Spring was here?

**Special Edit to .... : Sharon is just as beautiful as Snow!! **

I am really tired. I wonder why? I almost fell asleep in my accoutning class. I feel happy and proud because my Professor (COBOL) said "you dont need to prepare for the test, not a guy like you." HEHE... I finished his EXTRA credit project within in 15 mins. Danny and Johnny were still working on the project. My other friend, Wing was working on the extra credit, but he was having some (A LOT) of problem. I'll help him on monday, but i'm pretty sure he'll fix his program by then. I have an English mid-term tomorrow. I dont think we can prepare for the essay that we're going to write. I hope it is not going to be hard. My friends and I have been talking about Betty. I think we should stop making fun of her, but it's not that easy. After my COBOL class, I saw the guy who said "She got that earthy smell," and earthy is actually word. I dont know if the literal meaning fits in his sentence/discription. LOL AiTe... I got to go. sEe YoU

I forgot how to start my entry. Bobby said to start with the quotes I sent him. Yesterday, as I was lying on my bed, waiting to fall asleep, questions popped in mind. The deep, emotional questions kept me up all night. I tried distracting my ears with blasted music, but the music was singing a part of my affection. Soon, I was in a deep sleep. My mind had gone to another realm. When I woke, images and memories flashed before me. The images were what had happened in my dream. I question dreams, whether they are significant, or just random thoughts floating through our mind. Could it be a sign or a meaning to what had flashed? There’s no point of analyzing it, there probably a scientific explanation. The dreams I had in the past days were queer, extremely out of hand. The depression, sadness whacked me across my face. “What had happened?” I questioned myself. My interpretation: Memories of love ones have cause my agony. What I did in the past, had gather up to haunt me. It’s like a fully charged volcano, all ready to erupt. There is no escape, or even a place to hind. I remembered my accounting professor saying “don’t fight it, give into it,” I tried applying that concept. As you can see, it doesn’t seem to be helping me at all. I thought I changed, grew emotionally strong; but it turned out that I’m still here, typing depressive entries. You guys ever had a feeling, a hunch that you don’t know someone anymore. That person used to be a vast impact on your life, and now he or she is just an acquaintance. Little did I know that we can demote in friendship caused by a lack in communication. I had planned nothing, it just happened. Once again, I feel I am built to suffer emotionally, but ironically, I feel happy. Even though, my mix emotions are starting to come back, I feel ready to deal with them. It’s like I have a whole new perspective on this issue. “A man got to do what a man got to do.” Wells, of course you can argue that I’m not a man, but either way, it works out for me.  

This morning, when I woke up at 8:00 am I felt tired. I guess I’ve been lacking in sleeping. Every morning, for the last month or two, I slept late and woke early. Fridays are the worst of the week. On Thursdays, my head would spin around because I have 3 classes and especially English. Also, Fridays means “work hard day” at Quizznos. Tons of customer rushes in during the lunch rush and we, the employees, try to make their sandwiches as soon as possible. When arrived to work, I had a headache. I tried to fight it off, but it was too strong. I was relieved when the clock on my phone displayed 3:00 pm. After work, I went to the handball court to meet up my friends. I didn’t have the mood to play at first, but I had nothing to do until 6:00 pm. The appointment at 6:00 pm had me anxious the whole day, even as I’m writing. My friends left early, so I was forced to go home. My mom was happy to see me, and I was happy to see her too. She asked me if I wanted any food and I said no thanks. She always bugs us three (Judy, Jimmy, and me) with that question: “Do you want food?” I think we are big enough to take care of ourselves. I opened my computer to check on my program. I printed a “list offline,” a printout of a program, so I view if I made any mistakes. I left the house exactly at 5:30 pm, knowing that I am late for my appointment. When I got to City Tech, there was a long line for the elevator, but I stood on line patiently. I was very nervous about the appointment. I was thinking about what to say to professor Nilles. Soon, the elevator took me up to the 6^th floor. I looked for room 601B, I had a little trouble at first but I eventually found it. I founded it weird that 601B was a computer room. I thought maybe I copied the wrong room or she told the class the wrong room. I wandered around the 6^th floor, looking for professor Nilles. As I was about to leave, she popped out of no where and surprised me. Ironically, she gave the class the right room, 601B; I assumed that it would have been a classroom. We sat down and professor Nilles went over my essays and papers. I was depressed and discouraged by the grades; there were Cs, Ds and one B attached to my papers. I explained to professor Nilles that I am having trouble on absorbing English Grammar. I also told her that I had taken a class in Baruch on grammar, but I am not able to apply my learning in my essays. I don’t absorb as much in English than in Computer and Math courses. I consider English my weakness, but I’m not going to let that get into my way. I’m going to conquer my fears. I really appreciate professor Nilles going over my essays to show why I had the grade I received. If my grade depended on content, my grade would be much higher. She explained that in EG121 content, spelling, and grammar are components for a grade on a paper. She advised me to work with a tutor, and make daily entries to build up my weakness. I’ll try since I have plenty time in hand. Professor Nilles is a nice and open person. After the appointment, all I had in mind was to sleep. Today ends in 3 hours. Tomorrow will be a happy day for me. I don’t have work or school. I planned to go to Pathmark to grab some snacks to eat in class. I have a weird habit of munching on junk food. I almost forgot to open my paycheck. The only thing I like about Fridays is PAYDAY.

Oh... no accounting today... da professor went to florida. HEHE got off at 4... oh Fuck... i got back my major essay... i had a B on that eassy... Fuck!! hmmm i guess EG121 has higher expectation... Hmmm i guess i have to work harder... Oh today... i figure my CS205 professor doesnt like me pretty well... i'm serious!! when i had him my program that is due in 2 weeks... just got it yesterday... he gave me that look... He said it's wrong... FUCK HIM... in da year column there was 1 digit... stupid ass... all i had to change in my program was 51 to 50... and i gave him my reprint. HeHe... he SAID... how come you only printed 10 records 1 time... cause everytime we run da program it adds 10 record... unless you're really good with no typo. Wells i explain professtionally... I scratch the insfile and ran mksds again and then ran the program since the insfiles has 2 X 10 record printed... Lol.. he was shocked... cause he never taught us there... i was somehow able to figure that... HAHA he said... why you finish so fast... i wont have anything for you to do... He was serious.... FUCK HIM... whatever... i'm like that..i dont wait till the last day or second.... i get everything done... so no worries... Once again... da professor called betty like danny... even johnny thought it she was calling me... arggg... after school me went to paly handball... played with some really good/old ppl... learned a lot from them.... hehe just by watching... Came home... hmmm sitting here...i guess i'm making this entry cause i have no one to talk to... WHERE are you guy... i mean girls... hmm... dinner was nice.. DRANK some Remy Martin with mommy... Damn shit is mad nice.. I missed the drunken days in japan... and at my friend's home...

Today seem slow... Very slow... maybe i dont have accouting.... the only day... Whatever... Yea i finished my program... Fucken professor asshole licker...i spent an extra 30 mins working on it cause it.... whatever dont feel like explaining cause you guys dont understand... neways i fixed it... Oh feel so good because this program is due on 3/18 and i finished... so basically i wont be doing anything... REALLY... Wells fellow classmates ask me for help... and .. being a nice guy i am... me help them.... hehe... Oh yea... today something funny happened! After lunch i had english.... And i got to class early... and i sat there... and betty....BETTY came in and sat down... i had a cup of soda in my hand... i just felt like chewing on a BLOCK of ice... fucken cafe serves BIG ass ices... and an ice just entered my month and she got up and walked straight towards me... and as i was gonna say HI... i CHOKE on da fucken ice.... ARGGG... she went to open da fucken window... chiew... Oh wells... i stepped out of the class and tried to push da ice in to out of my throat... lol... Stupid betty bitch.... Da professor calls Betty like danny... i almost answered for her again.... Fucken chinese bitch.... hehe but it's funny

Hey all, oh i'm so hungary!! i havent eaten for da whole day... need some food.. got any? neways... went to shoot pool in the morning. I Didnt want to go at first for some reasons, but went anyways. Oh i had this fever... my head felt and still does like exploding.... oh wells... i WASNT late for class... hehe.... I SCORE VERY HIGH ON THE TEST ... my accounting test that worth 25% of our grade.... very high? how high.... ummm 100? hehe... and i left for the review... lol he was talking shit about me when i went to the bathroom... he said "when i picked up his paper i know exactly what he had because he participates and blah blah blah" o m g so boring in class.... i stay through the whole correction review... damn boring.... neways... IT"S SNOWING... SO HAPPY... SNOW MAKES ME HAPPY.... i hope it wouldnt stop ...  OH yea FRANKIE stop calling sharon hui yan.... She gets really pissed when you call her hui yan you know? HMMM you better stop calling her hui yan! Right hui yan?  

stupid color test 

man... i got blue... is that good... fits right to my xanga... lol... oh wells... yawn... i'm kinda tired... 3 day weekend with an essay to write... how fun is that? hmmm maybe a bath would help refresh the tired me... maybe start on it... have to organze some plans for this weekend. or i'll be suffering in boredom... or... be at the handball court... lol.... i found another sport... wells... dont know if it's a sport but... i didnt know i was pretty good at it... ping pong... man... da corner shots... just like handball... HAHA i killed my nigga today and that bitchy danny leung... man i swear ,,,, something fishy... MAYBE he doesnt like chinese.... and i'm serious... lol since he's from the PJs.... with all those niggas and hispanic ppl... and i'm a total fob... lol... Fuck him.... piss me off speaking of that loser. so,,, i guess i ran out of things to speak about... so me gonna bounce... Aite.. Aite... aITE aITE... Peace,,,,

 

this entry is made to remind myself how sad and depressed i am right now. i guess this is a natural feeling. a person can be so happy then sad the next second. in some cases, it comes out of no where but i know why i am in a despairing mood. i alway wanted to prevail myself again my weakesses. I just cant enfore myself to do so. This struggle just blows me off. i know, maybe later today this emotion may dramatically change and i'll be happy again. But in the meanwhile, i feel all these tensions. Sometimes something cant be helped. i used to or rather still do think it's stupid feeling sad or depressed. the world still runs with or without one. So i try not to let myself fall into darkness. But little did i know in particular situations it's hard to aviod. In life, you know what gets you the most? Little trifles. little postponed trifle that you may think it's not important or insignificant. Then when something big strikes you hard. All the trifles are going to gather up and knock you like a boxer getting rdy for a finishing touch. the thing with me, is that when a point comes across my mind i try to capture it. then when another thought floats in my head i also try to capture it too. my mind can only hold so much and when thoughts dont agree with eachother, i guess thats why i' m so confused. i just hate being me. Nothing really special about me. Just one of those ordinary boys you see in grand street park. "loser" a grand loser with out any resource with prople. Am i isolated? or do i just think that way or is that life. i dont see any other activities besides school work home. some people are limited to just home and school. Speaking of so, my professor is really tough on us. it's just a shock to me to recieve such attitude from him. i simply asked a question about the program we about to create and he unmanneredly responsed "where were you 10 mins ago, he already asked that question." you know sometimes when you siting in class you tend to daze for a couple of seconds or minutes, thats what happen. My buddy danny was Cursing at him through the whole class period. "You chubby bitch" He never put an effort in helping him. what had become of him. I'm guessing his disable leg. He lags when he walks. he basically drags his legs while walking to his destination. Maybe that, caused him to be so cold! he probably didnt accept his disability at first then learned to rebuilt himself to be tough so no one would laugh at his rineffective leg. Maybe he's isolated like me. and the rest of us. in this competative world. My mind is telling to me adapt. Once you learn how to adapt to changes then life would be so much easiler. Danny's soft spot. Is it obvious? If not then i'm hinding it pretty good. I always thought "what you dont know cant hurt you mentally." Boy was i wrong, i havent realize this. at times his lines pops in my mind. "ignorance hurts" there's so much knowledge in the world to absorb. how can we take in so much in the limited life span. I got back my free wtriting papers today. I got a C- and the other time i had a D+. What happened? Not my expertise. Everyone is smart and unique in their own way. I just havent found mine yet. Lately i have put aside my affection side. Everytime i feel sad unhappy, i look up at the moon. The moon doesnt speak back but its shine does. The song prima sent me "Total eclipse of the heart" is really a good song. actually i'll upload it. It ues the event eclipse of the moon to protray our inner affection. How some of us suffer in the dark. i dont know if i'm interpting this correctly, but same idea early in my passage; how we are trap in the dark for a while but later on when the eclipse is over the moon is bright(happy) again. What happens during the darkness? We need emotionally support, friends to talk to. Where are my buds? Who do i turn to? Socrates philosophy - true knowledge and understanding comes from questioning. i question myself more than enough which puts me in a perplexed stage. I guess when i got no one to turn to, i turn to stess reliever. Handball is where i can find myself and take control. My mind is blank when i'm on the battle court. i took it out on a few people. I was cocky to them, i just played my best. The 2 on 1 took a lot out of me. I was really concentrated and into that game. the score was 18-2 as i remember. me up by a lot. Then something flashed through and distracted me. I lost a few points but it's was ok. that singles game after finsihed me. I was dead tired. Fisting the ball isnt cheating, but it distroys the whole purpose of handball. HANDBALL not fist ball. Anyways, lets not get into handball. I really could go on ...

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

farewell my people.