I had a talk with Annie yesterday about her past. We had a lot in common. It’s been a while since had one of these long talks. I thought I was the only one that had these kinds of problems but I was wrong.

     Have you ever had problems keeping your mind off of someone you really like a lot? Especially your Ex. It’s so hard to put aside all your emotions for them since you guys had experienced a lot together. It took me a while to set aside these misery memories. First step of overcoming these affections is to tell yourself to accept the truth. Tell yourself that you don’t want to spend all your time thinking in the past. Every time you think back tell yourself the not to think about that. Well easy said than done. Well you could replace those memories with current ones. Like think about a upcoming event that will bring you joy and happiness. Well there aren’t always going to be happy upcoming events in everyone’s life. Instead of using upcoming events to keep my mind off of her I thought about someone else. Someone that I kind of like. As I always said the only way to forget about the previous relationship is to get a new one.

     These flashbacks mostly happen when you’re alone and when you’re depressed. It’s kind of scary because you can’t tell when it’s going to come back and haunt you. I also had trouble sleeping because all I could think about is her. So afraid to close my eyes and see her then wake up in despair.

     Now I found myself thinking as much as before but it’s not the same person. I kind of used Annie to forget about my past and I have accomplished it but now I think I like her very much. I often think back to times we had together, the wink, dragon dance, buying flowers, movies, McDonalds, Kim’s birthday, and a bunch of other tender memories. Well I guess thinking about Annie is better than thinking about my past. At least I have a chance. Why waste your time and energy on that person? Don’t get stuck in the past. Move on……..

     Hey wasssup? Damn! Can’t believe I’m back in New York already. I was planning to stay for another week but it cost $150 to change the departure date so forget it. I can’t find another reason for leaving Japan except this one person that I really missed through out my whole trip. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Every chance I had I would think about the happy times we had but it’s just fantasying.

     I had so much fun in Japan; the people were nice and welled-mannered. Most of all the air was nice, fresh. Transportation was a hassle, quite confusing. There weren’t any R, A, F trains there were Yokohama lines and Chou lines. One thing good about the metro system in Japan is that they have signs stating the next stop and the previous stop, so it was hard for me and my friend to get lost.

     My friend was amazed at the way school girls were dressed. They wore short short short skirts. Their attractive white legs got my friend’s undivided attention. Want to know one more thing? Japanese girls aren’t naturally born with white pale skin, it takes layers of makeup. I was observing one school girl on the bus and she only did 2 things throughout a 30 min ride. She held up her cell phone texting messages and putting on makeup. She alternated back and forth. My friend encouraged me to “try” to get a Japanese girl but it’s not that easy if we don’t speak the same language even though I kind of look Japanese. It’s so funny when my friend asks for direction and they’re puzzled face stares at me, waiting for me to translate.

     The place where we stayed at was nice. Peace and quiet. Once at night I’m freaked out. He claims that there’s a ghost in the village and he’s always dragging me out at night for midnight walks. Japan is really expensive a lunch meal can cost up to $20 US dollar at McDonalds. The present I got for you guys are at least 1000 yen. I got a nice present for the person that I missed a lot. Her present is really expensive but yet I don’t know why I brought it. Every time I look at the eye-catching crystal necklace it reminds me of her. I know there’s a slim chance that she feels the same way but it’s better than no chance. I’m still waiting for the right time to propose. Failure is expected.

     So what you guys did over the vacation? Did you have a lot of fun like me? Don’t worry I don’t have SARS as much as I know of. Ok take care missed you all.

     It’s been a while since I wrote on this page. So much has happen and I lost all interest in logging the event down. I remember talking about my game and how nervous I was about it. Now the results are shown, lost 2 games. It’s not a nice start of the season. I thought about giving up by leaving the team but wouldn’t make me more of a loser? I decided to push myself hard by practicing all day. I finally got my wipe (hitting the small ball without getting hurt) and I was so happy. When you work hard for something it’s the best feeling. I felt that isn’t enough to keep my title as first position in the team so I push myself even more by using my left. It didn’t fail me. I’m able to hit with my left hand. I believe that if you really push yourself nothing is impossible. Learning not to give up is important. Don’t always compare yourself to other, be competitive among yourself.

 

     Still haven’t decided where am I going to go during the break. It would be nice if I could go to Japan but so much negative feedback from friends and parents. The war and the SARS is just messing up our life, and I never thought it’s going to effect my life. I wish I figure something out before there it’s too late.

 

Good night all…. Wish the Best of You all…. Happy Birthday To Kim!!