Good Morning Its now 6:45 a.m. I just woke up from a nightmare. I was glad that it was all a dream. Dont you have bad times in your life and you wish it was just a dream? My relationship is complex right? I'll stop talking about it for a few days ok?  I'll talk about the memories that will never be forgotten.  

     Hahahaha.... This memory will live on for both of us.This is how we started..... It all happen with 2 sheets of paper. Around a year ago when I was in the 11th grade she thought I was stupid playing with an easer and a ruler. That class was mad boring I dont get how she could manage to participate. I thought she was some nerd. Then as time when on we got to know eachother more and started to spend more time together.

     One day changed it all. She asked me to lend her my physics H.W (not a "nerd" after all) so I gave it to her. The next day I didnt see her online nor in school. I started to get worry (about my H.W not her) and I yelled at her globally throughout the whole school. Then the next day after that she still wasnt in school that ticked me off I was superfluously mad so I did more yelling and even called her a "bitch"

     The next morning I saw her infront of Ms. Wangs room I was about to charge up to her and yell at her but I saw a mad, full of hatre look on her face so I knew something bad was going to happen. Next second I realize she was charging at me so I try to dodge her. Oh I was hitted and kicked a few times.

     Oh when she explained the she was sick for the two days I few bad but not that bad cause when I went to hang in my H.W it was late. That beating was kinda fun cause every hit she threw at me it didnt hurt a bit This moment is often mention. Oh how I treasure this memory.

     Hey its school time again I have to go now. talking next time ok  I'll probably post another memory tomorrow, Next time will be ......... The first kiss i gave her!  

     Ahhhhh... Kinda tired. Man! Can you believe it I went to school on Halloween? Today was very mundane. Nothing new but I promise to write yesterday. What should I write about my boring life or my relationship? Ok Ok Shouldnt even ask.

     Felt so lonesome this morning when I was walking to school alone. This isnt often because I tend to pick up my girlfriend at her building. I leave extra early to walk over ( not located on the path of my school) and pick her up and walk her to school. When had I mention that I do so she said I didnt ask you to. Hmmm kinda hurt but I just take it as a joke and gives her a smile like this

     Today my attempt to be more flexible wasnt a success. I dont know why when I say something I cant do it. I feel like a loser. My plan was to make her give me back that feeling but it didnt work. The more I care less the more pain i'm in. She still had the same attutide of not caring. I still have that feeling that she still loves me. Lets hope she does.

     She once said to me that "The more I think of you the more i hate you thats because I care" I was touched by her words. Her way of treating me isnt always been so bad its a sometime thing. Sometimes good and sometimes bad.

     Am I asking too much from her? Am I giving her too much pressure? Am I just thinking too much? I dont know when to treat her well and when to not. I sure can go for a hug from her now.

     I always thought she was the one for me but i'm having doubts now. Her apparence in my life had always been special. I never had this feel about anyone else before. I really love her a lot. I think you can tell him these 2 entry. Can you?

     Hey cant talk any more. I have to do my homework and study for the SAT( this saturday) wish me luck passing. Well there isnt a passing grade but a high grade. OK thankz for you luck i'll need a lot of it. BYE BYE

     Oh..... Its now 6:55 a.m. Almost time for school. These days I havent feeling myself. The old, happy Danny. I now have a habit of waking up at 6 a.m. Dont know why is that. Maybe I miss my girlfriend too much I even see her in my dreams these few days (No, not wet dreams). 

     I have a conversation with my girlfriend yesterday it was about being strong on our relationship. I guess i'm being too strong on our relationship think I should loosing up. Shes very flexible. Guess I have to change to be more flexible too because I end up hurting myself.

     Yesterday after i finish my college one on one I ran downstairs to my chinese teacher to look for her. She wasnt there then I ran downstairs to the cafeteria to look. No luck I ran up to the 5th floor to see if she was there. Nope that feeling is really empty. The eagerness to wanting to see her. I then went down to the 3rd floor to the tutoring room. I founded her my frown turned to a smiley and my emptiness was once full with love . I sat there next to her hoping she would say something sweet. She didnt even look at me that was OK since she was doing her H.W. I sat there watching her still hoping she would say something sweet. I cant hold it no more and I said i went all over to look for you (hoping she would response with O you did I was here all along or something like that) but she response with none of my business. My heart was ripped. I sat there for a little longer then I left cause I cant take that from someone I love.

     Seems like I'm doing too much. Shes not appreciating none of it. I would like her to say Thankz Honey when I take off my shirt on a cold October evening to cover her cause I thought she was cold. Nope you're right thats not the response I got. She said you just took it off I didnt ask you. She then gave me back it i didnt put it back on because that shirt cant help me I was cold both outside and inside.

     I have decided to not be so caring to her no more but I still love her a lot. I'm not going to show it anymore.

     Cant talk no more I have to go to school. I'll continue my writing tomorrow OK? Promise

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