I’m just always depressed. Around her, I try my best to put on a smirk or two. Why I put on a smile when I’m sad? I just don’t want her to feel bad or feel like it’s her fault that I’m sad. When I’m alone, I can’t even mange to force a smile. I can’t help this emotion. If I could choose I would just delete all my memories I had with her; deleting isn’t so easy, it’s an important and essential part of my brain. Even deleting a file from the computer, it’ll ask you “are you sure you want to delete this file.” It’s so sad how everything I see, think, hear reminds me of her. Sitting there alone, hearing her laughter just makes me want to cry. There’s just so much I want to say and tell her but I guess I can’t. Sometimes I convince myself that she’s still thinking about me but now I’m sick and tired of it. It’s just so hard to be friends with someone you once loved. “You don’t really have to be with the person in order to be happy.” I find this quote to be so untrue. How can you be happy without the person you love being around you? I guess I’m not that type of guy huh?

     I feel like the girl in the Mtv, all gone when she opens her eyes. I know how she feels, happy one second, sad the next. Life is full of surprises; things can just happen the next second that can change your whole life around. For example Me! I was shocked when I heard the news from her e-mail.

     It’s so hard for me to be around her. I guess after today I’ll lose all contact with her. I’ll need to build myself up again. Just seems like I collapsed when I lost her. I don’t know how long it’ll take but in the meanwhile I won’t be seeing her. I hope she understands, unlike her I’m weak at these emotions.

     I'm afraid that our relationship can't be the same. I don't know if she really care but I do. I really missed those times we shared. So sweet but so bitter. See here I go again, it's just sad how you are writing about your emotions and a sad song just comes on.

     I wish she feels better after all these days’ she been sick.

I wish your Wish(es) may come true!! J